Don’t be too available for them, My friend.
I know, you are really kind person, that they can ever have. Being with them, every time they need your support… is indeed a good sign, and feeling you great inside.
And even that person also, experiences that “Special one” feeling at a moment, because of your attention & being available.
But in some cases, this will not work as it seems always.
Your availability in their need is not enough for them. Slowly & gradually you find that someone losing interest in you, which they had in the first meeting. And that because of your being too available all the time.
Yes, that happens…and leave you in surprises like, “Is there anything wrong I’ve done to them?” Because all you do is just to help them anyway. Remember, there can be many consequences of being too available, which lead by personal, emotional factors and events.
So, be ready for its end impact as well, when you are with them all the time.
This will happen when you make yourself too available for others.
When available too much…you lose your self respect
Definitely you have value for the relationship and so you think it’s good for them, if you be present every time they need support.
Nice gesture. But being there always, ultimately will decrease your self-worth in them.
Because they take you as you are very easy to approach and that’s the way you lose your self-importance as well. Indeed you are kind, But Respect yourself first then try to adjust in a relationship. You really respect them and your relationship, that’s the great one…But, when it comes to self-respect, nothing is better than own worth.
Prefer to stay with a person who values your presence, give equal importance and attention…that you are giving to them.
They start taking you for granted
In most case, we feel like we are taken for granted, and that hurt us in our relationship.
But, firstly we also need to understand, it’s we “ourselves” are the reason for that.
It’s we are who became too much available for them and give them a chance to treat us like no one. You don’t need to available all the time, people tend to miss you when you are not around.
Let your absence realize them your presence(importance). When you stop being available to them, they eventually find your true worth.
And, that’s where they’ll start value your feeling, that you always delivering for them.
You can refer to a recommended book on the same subject, here.
Book suggestion:(No more Mr. nice guy)
You interrupt their space when you always available
You have feelings and cares for them, you love them. That’s right. But being available with them all the time, and you’re invading their me-time. In simple mean, you are not giving them enough room for, ownself.
Don’t forget that…They also want some space and time to spend with themselves. And that’s not possible if you are always available to them.
So stop being too available and let them enjoy their own company & own time as well. Trust them, they are your own. Give some room to let them be with own.
Not everyone wants to get surrounded by others all the time, sometimes they also want to Be with their own, as well. And, that’s fine.
Also Read: How Do You Know When You Love Someone?
They’ll think you are Free always
Be with them when they need you, is quite a good thing. That every true friend and partner needs to do.
I also know….Every time you just left your very important work and go for them, when it’s their call, asking for Help. Great one, but they’re not aware of the sacrifices, you’ve been doing for them.
You give them priorities above everything, even your time and works. But, they don’t know about or even bother to know it.
Ultimately, this will make them realize that… you are always free and have no other things to do.
I know, you have work to accomplish and priorities in life. Not every time you need to give them full attention.
You also have some priorities, which again they don’t know. So inform them, as well.
Don’t too much available for someone, in the end, they start feel like… You need them more, even you are helping them every time.
Your too much availability make them careless
In most relationships, the right persons are always taken as granted for too much available. Remember, If a person calls you, only when they need help, it means you are that one Handy-guy.
A guy who is always there when anything goes wrong, and they want you to solve that.
And, yes, like that guy… you are available there, too. Isn’t it?
That makes them careless for the things which they have to handle on their own. But still, they want you to answer for them.
So it’s better not to become Superman for them because you too have the other work to do. Let them figure it out own self, be there only in case they fail to do so.
I know, this kinda tough for you at first, and even for them, too.
But, look for the end consequences. It’ll make them confident about their own self. When you stop being available, they’ll end up figure out by ownself.
That improves their confidence and certainly feel thankful for you, because you gave them a TRUST, that “I can do it”.
Let them feel your absence
Believe this or not, but you are making yourself too much available for them. Of course, you are giving them relief by staying with them every time. Supporting them and improving them regularly, feels you good inside, that you are helping someone.
But, look for other consequences as well.
In the process to make someone feel special, you even forget to take care of yourself, isn’t it?
Really appreciate your efforts to put lights in someone’s life, but have you consider for your own? Remember some right people, will surely understand your presence and value your time, But not all.
For those who don’t know your true worth, let them feel it by disappear sometime.
This doesn’t mean to praise ownself and showing pride to them, but don’t let them understand your actual worth.
Your too much availability, give them no room to feel your absence. And that’s why they have no idea how valuable you are.
Let them understand your value, in your absence.
Let them figure out the challenges own self, which you’re handling every time.
And that’ll result in respecting your presence. From the point, when you start respecting your time, they also consider the same.
Because of your availability all time, they feel bored in relationship
It’s good that likeable person who are together for a long period has to understand each other well.
But it’s not necessary, that a person has to know everything about another from the first phase. And other people also need not reveal everything about own…especially when they are just met recently.
In most relationships, either person loses their excitement when they know everything in a very short period.
Yes, that happens…in the early phase, when both are overly excited to know each other and spend a major time together. A fine thing indeed.
But, think about the other aspects too.
Being available with them and of course, sharing most things (okay, means everything) about your past to them in the early relationship phase, you reach their highest level of excitement quickly.
Again remember, when you staying available around them, talking about your life all the time…and they’ll start losing interest in your life, too. There comes a phase, when they just get feel bored with you, as nothing new you’ve for them.
I know…You’ve experienced that, right?
In order to keep relationship alive and exciting, you better to control your horses. Prefer to read out your stories to them periodically, with required pauses.
Remember that, your personal information must be shared slowly, just create a thrill like a suspense movie.
Don’t be in so much hurry to tell everything about you, and Don’t even eager to know them in a very short period of time.
Go slow, share the information occasionally, and keep the excitement alive.
Let them feel excited about your life, also listen to them. Don’t be that one who just knows Talking, prefer to listen as well.
Take time to understand their stories, let the bonding be created by the time.
Your overexcitement and too much availability, ultimately makes everything boring too soon… when you are just met with that someone.
Create suspense and make them wonder about you
At some point, when you feel like they have losing interest in you and feel no excitement in the relation, as it were before. Then, remember you can be the reason too.
As you have made yourself available too much and they gradually losing interest in you. That’s happening all the time.
Your always availability makes this relationship boring.
Because you reveal not many things, but everything about you. You have been spending too much time with them, talking and sharing about your life…ultimately decreasing the excitement they carried when they met you for the first time.
Remember, to have those surprising elements always, in any relationship you have. Because these are like a fuel to relations, that keep it going by adding timely values and attention.
Don’t be so hurry, take your time, and give them time also.
Don’t forget, when they acknowledge there is nothing left to know more about you then, they will find you as boring. And, that’s because …You make yourself too much available.
You’ll be like a book, which they already read.
Do you read the book, that you already read?
Do you watch the suspense movie, that you already watch? With the same excitement?