Relationship rule #46 is, STOP Being too nice in a relationship.
When you’re being so nice to others, they start taking you for granted, and that’s common that most genuine people face. Your overly kind nature and staying positive to everything in your relationship, make them doubt you, thinking “Are you real or fake?
Well, whether you notice that or not, but once in a while, you may have some sort of idea that your partner or friends, not giving the same values, and respect as you to them.
Even after accepting or doing everything for them, you still aren’t getting the same feelings, trust, and attention from them. You’re being too nice to them, that can be a reason for that.
Being nice and kind to others is of course showing that you’re a caring and dependable person.
But, as everything starts showing the reverse impact, after crossing the certain limits, you get to see the surprising results due to being too nice to someone beyond their expectations.
And the question is: How to stop being too nice in a relationship?
“Do I’ve to stop being kind to everyone or disconnect from everyone or what?”
No, that’s not the case here.
The idea is to stop being so nice and not to get harder on you or anyone else.
Here is the best approach to follow when you get to realize that you’re becoming too nice and caring for your partner, friends, and everyone else.
Ways stop being too nice in a relationship
1. Start preferring your time, efforts, and plans with YOU.
You’re being too nice and kind to everyone, and so this is the most difficult part to adjust your mindset.
By ‘preferring you’ doesn’t mean to ignore everyone in your life, all of a sudden.
That simply means, to start seeing things from your viewpoints, also. Focus on something important about you, that you’ve been ignoring since.
Start giving time, values, and attention to your needs.
2. Set boundaries in life for you and others.
The biggest reason why everyone takes you as a nice person because you live with no rules and priorities in life.
You’ve no set boundaries and limits, to maintain connections with others.
Being ‘open to all’ connections is, of course, feeling cool inside you.
Moreover, it makes others feel comfortable with you, so quickly, too.
But, when you’re being too nice to everyone and you notice that someone is becoming too confident about speaking anything or everything about you.
If so, then time is to set some limits for others to interact with you or talk about you openly.
Time to let them think, before speaking anything that relates to your personal belief or feelings.
3. Ignore those who undervalue your presence.
You’re valuable, you can not let anyone take yourself for granted, anymore.
It’s totally fine to be nice and kind to others.
It’s okay if you are with them, who actually value your presence in life.
But, when you’re giving too much time and attention to someone, who has no values for you, then you’re doing all wrong to yourself.
Stop being too nice to them, stop giving them attention, when you know they won’t care about your feelings and presence, anyway.
4. Stop trying to please everyone.
Whether you can freely share your thoughts with others or not, whether you think your ideas are perfect or not, but never let someone’s negative opinion change you a bit.
Never force yourself to change, just to impress someone.
Be you and focus on your personal trust and feelings. No one is responsible for your happiness, except you.
Understand your limitations, value your strength, and stop pleasing everyone around you.
Simply, because you can’t and so, you shouldn’t.
5. Stop overthinking everything.
There’s nothing wrong happen, when you stop being so nice to someone, to your friends or partner.
You just prefer yourself…and not have to ignore others completely.
You still play your role right, as you’ve been.
But, from now, you have an important role for yourself, too.
Avoid any ideas and thoughts that show you a negative side only.
Stop judging the situation, especially when you’ve some positive aspect there, too.
Also read: Steps To Stop Overthinking In A Relationship
6. Have your own opinion and thoughts.
You know, when you don’t have your own opinion and idea, everyone starts taking advantage of it.
Your friend completely ignored your advice and words while setting any weekend plans or vacations.
Even further, they stop asking you at some, because they know you’re okay with everything, they decide.
Stop being so nice in a realtionship, to everything and everyone.
Have your personal views, and start sharing them, when needed.
Of course, you’ve your thoughts and unique ideas, within.
Simply because you’ve shared anything, doesn’t mean you have no personal idea, at all.
So, time to present your idea and thought, confidently
7. Be clear, Be understandable.
Stop confusing them.
It’s clearly showing that you’re not in the right mood when you’re on a date or with weekend meetups.
When you join their plan, unwillingly, they instantly can figure out that you’re fully into it.
So instead, of confusing or spoiling their mood, it’s better to be clear from the first.
Give them a reason to ask for your opinion and not to force you at some, when you’re not ready for it.
Also read: How To Know If a Guy Loves You Secretly?
8. Stop being too hard on yourself.
Indeed, after being treated for granted, you hate and curse yourself for being too nice in a relationship.
It’s acceptable to feel hurt and disrespected when your contributions meant nothing to them.
But, that never has to be a reason to stay hard on yourself and everyone, thereafter.
It’s not your fault when you give everything to someone you could.
Stop blaming yourself. It’s that someone, who has no approach to value your importance.
And, you don’t have to feel regretful for being you.
9. Start trusting your partner.
Being adjustable to everything that partner or friend says, also happens because you’re not fully confident about your relationship or friendship.
Definitely, you have your personal views, but you prefer to cover them.
Why, because you don’t want to hurt your partner or spoil your friend’s mood.
Stop making judgments, on your own.
Start trusting your partner or friends, they may be caring enough to understand your situation and feelings, too.
10. Say NO, when there has to be a NO.
Ask yourself, how many times you’ve felt bad about yourself, for accepting their invitations or to join them unwillingly.
You’re habitual to say YES, to everything and everyone.
Due to that many others, have taken your advantages, there, too.
If you’re not confident or comfortable with something… then feel free to say NO.
There’s nothing wrong if you’re not okay for family functions or going to a movie this weekend.
It’s just your opinion or not ignorance for a lifetime.
Start saying NO, when need and you’ll feel good about yourself, too.
Also read: How Not To Be Boring Person Anymore?
So, Are you that ‘nicest person’ in your relationship or friendship?
If you always have been preferring their views, opinions, judgments, and plans over your personal ones, just because you don’t want to hurt them… that clearly shows that you’re being too nice to everyone.
Whether you’re confident about yourself or not, but you’ve to start focusing on yourself too.
Sooner or later you will realize that you’re being too nice in a relationship.
And instead of feeling hurt after giving too much there… it’s better to set some limits from the first phase, that no one can cross without your consent.